Chasing Conversations: Adventures in Unlocking Travel’s Social Magic

I recently embarked on a six-week European adventure, a mix of work and leisure. While some parts of the trip involved friends and work projects, there were moments when I found myself flying solo. As a traveler who revels in the sights, tastes, and drinks of new places, I saw this journey as an opportunity to challenge myself, alongside the usual travel mishaps (hello, unexpected detours via Turkiye).

Embracing the Challenge

During my time abroad, I set out to practice two things: being present and summoning the courage to strike up conversations with strangers.

To embrace the art of being present, I committed myself to savoring unexpected delights. I paused to admire wildflowers and picturesque pathways beneath bridges along the West Highland Way, the street busker blowing bubbles in Geneva, appreciated a rainbow near Iceland’s Seljalandsfoss waterfall (add it to your bucket list!), basked in the warm sun while savoring coffee and pastries at Ochsenalm near Bressanone, and even encountered a friendly lift operator who granted me a free gondola ride down the mountain, saving my legs after a day on the trail. This ritual helped me slow down, appreciate the moment, and find gratitude in life’s small pleasures.

The Courage to Connect

Striking up conversations with strangers was always going to be a more daunting challenge. In past trips, I’d challenged myself to be open to interactions initiated by others. This time I aimed to take the initiative myself. My success would be gauged by the number of conversations I initiated; I was less interested in the outcomes and my goal was to take the first step, observe, and experiment with my approach.

My Thought Process

I began by dissecting my motivations. What would doing this give me?

• As a solo traveler, engaging with strangers could be a welcome respite from solitude.
• I could learn and discover from local insights and perspectives.
• Venturing beyond my comfort zone would allow me to gain new viewpoints.
• I knew from past experiences that pushing my boundaries often led to self-discovery and personal growth, skills applicable even in business.

Writing out these motivations crystallized my determination and purpose.

Challenging Assumptions

I then confronted my own mindset and assumptions:

• I had labeled myself as shy and slow to forge new friendships.
• I believed I wasn’t the type to initiate conversations with strangers, despite the occasional desire to do so.

Considering Alternatives

Next, I explored alternative beliefs. What information did I have that offered a different view?

• If approached politely and by someone non-threatening, most people are willing to help a stranger.
• Many people share a common fear of initiating conversations.
• Asking thoughtful questions fosters engaging discussions (a skill I have worked on as part of my coaching development).
• I’ve had interesting conversations with diverse individuals in the past.
• English, along with my very basic phrases in Italian and French, offered a bridge.
• If things didn’t go as planned, I retained the power to disengage.

So then, I shifted my mindset, and took action.

Shifting My Mindset

I consciously adopted a new mindset: I am someone who can engage with strangers.

Results

• What transpired were diverse encounters that were entertaining, informative and thought provoking – here are just a few… During a hike in Iceland, I stopped to talk to local women picking berries; we chatted about the berries they were collecting (excellent source of vitamin C), the Icelandic relationship with land and country, and how thermal hot springs are such an important part of culture and recreation. When the conversation shifted to the ‘global COVID conspiracy’ I bade them farewell and continued on my way.
• Seeking coffee advice from the guy at the gym desk in Italy led to him sharing his favorite pizza place, which was a great find.
• Relaxing with a beer in the sun following a day on the West Highland Way, I saw some hikers we’d passed earlier. I asked them about their day, and ended up getting advice about the north side ascent of Ben Nevis – more challenging, but far fewer tourists. Turned out to be excellent advice Pizza is good Takeaways.

These experiences showed me that I am, in fact, capable of talking to strangers. I’m not claiming to be an extrovert who effortlessly chats with everyone, but I’ve certainly shifted along the spectrum. Stepping out of my comfort zone was both thrilling, and a little bit fun.

Connecting Through Identity On a lighter note, mentioning my Australian identity often sparked a good conversation – people were regularly amazed that we are really prepared to travel for 24 hours to get to Europe. I also have some advice for Tourism Australia – I spoke to more than a few people who were legit scared to visit Oz because of our poisonous snakes and scary spiders! Telling them I rarely saw either in my day to day life did nothing to alleviate their concerns.

How you can use this process

If there’s something you’ve long desired but thought wasn’t in your nature, follow these steps:

1. Be specific about what you gain from it and why you want it.
2. Examine your current mindset and beliefs.
3. Uncover and challenge any assumptions.
4. Identify alternative perspectives and possibilities.
5. Shift your mindset to align with your goal.
6. Measure your success by how much you follow the process, not the outcomes.

Conclusion

In the end, this little experiment underscored that facing challenges can be a rewarding endeavor. My journey in connecting with strangers may not have been a monumental feat, but it demonstrated that breaking down barriers is achievable and the approach can be applied to various aspects of life, making seemingly daunting tasks more manageable.

A Parallel to Coaching

This condensed process resembles the essence of coaching—providing a structured framework to question assumptions, beliefs, and roadblocks on the path to your desires. 1:1 coaching offers numerous additional benefits:

• an external perspective will help you uncover more blind spots – including questioning your beliefs and assumptions
• saying things out loud can help you organise your thoughts better, and can also help alleviate fears
• having an hour long conversation focused on you, means you are free from distractions and this will yield insights.

If there’s a skill you want to build, a practice you want to adopt, or a trait you want to take on, let’s talk about how coaching can help.